I remember at school a friend smiled and remarked when we were walking home that I seem so relaxed I could be high. My every day routine was incredible at this time. I would wake up at 5, have a cold shower, run and do yoga before school. It didn’t surprise me that I seemed high… it was actually how I felt.
Why did I do any of those things? Because I knew that in feeling good I would be able to do my best throughout the day and never regret not doing as well as I could have. It seems very straight edge but that’s what I wanted, after some years of struggling with depression and anxiety. I truly felt healthy and well in my body and a sense of self acceptance that my early teens sorely lacked.
Since then I have fallen out of habit with these routines. I no longer do cold showers at 5am, or yoga twice a day. I don’t run every day and I’m writing this post after eating a fair amount of ice cream for lunch.
However, I do a couple of other things that I didn’t used to that really keep everything bright inside. The lights are switched on and everyday I’m so grateful to be alive.
One is making art. As soon as I start doing it I’m right there in the centre and I feel my own worthiness like a precious gem.
The other, which I am extremely grateful for is regular online Satsangs with Canela Michelle Meyers. These sessions are centred around exploring yourSelf in different ways, like money as an invitation to alignment, harmony within and with others, and balancing the feminine with the masculine.
Canela’s approach is so gentle and loving. The space naturally brings up whatever is in the way of your clarity and alignment, which is sometimes more ‘gritty’ emotions that she skilfully will shine a light on with utmost care and respect. I find that whenever I’m exploring an edge where I’m uncomfortable, she always has the perfect loving words to help me relax and process it.
In terms of the bigger picture, I can really see where I’ve taken opportunities because I felt supported in this space, where I’ve said yes to love because of her encouragement, and how committed I have remained to my creativity because she reminds me that life can be lived playfully.
This isn’t to say that if I did my superb old routine my life wouldn’t be better… I should probably get into that again some time.
Also I’m not being sponsored to say this, I just truly feel to take the time to share it with you. If you struggle with heavy emotions, high levels of sensitivity, or whatever comes up, I highly recommend attending Canela’s sessions.
The small group set of 4×2 hour sessions takes place weekly for a month and are very reasonably priced at £75. Check it out and maybe I’ll see you there!
Theodora xx